Health https://bryanruby.com/tags/health en Alone Time https://bryanruby.com/alone-time-2011 <span property="schema:name">Alone Time</span> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-above"> <div class="field--label">Image</div> <div class="field--items"> <div class="field--item"> <img property="schema:image" src="/sites/default/files/field/image/tree-753069_960_720_1.jpg" width="960" height="640" alt="Lone tree on hill via Pixabay" typeof="foaf:Image" class="img-responsive" /> </div> </div> </div> <span rel="schema:author"><span lang="" about="/users/bryan-ruby" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Bryan Ruby</span></span> <span property="schema:dateCreated" content="2018-01-11T02:30:35+00:00">Wed, 01/10/2018 - 20:30</span> <div property="schema:text" class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><p>My son had a out of town hockey tournament this weekend which resulted in my family leaving me home alone. In the past 48 hours, I've been the only human being in my house. My only duty this weekend was to take care of our dog Jasmine and the two cats, Oreo and Maya. What a wonderful gift I received in this opportunity to be alone and to be just me without interruption.</p> <p>I know some people that can't stand being alone. There are people that have to constantly have someone around to be content and happy. This has never been me. I can go for several days without seeing another human being before I actually feel lonely. It has nothing to do with me not liking people. I value my time with family and friends very much. Instead, this has to do with the importance of solitude in my life.</p> <p>Loneliness is marked by a sense of isolation. Loneliness happens when we no longer want to be alone and we desire to be around people. Solitude, on the other hand, can be <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200307/what-is-solitude">defined</a> as a "state of being alone without being lonely and can lead to self-awareness".  Solitude is desirable, a state of being alone where you provide yourself wonderful and sufficient company.</p> <p>The greatest obstacle to finding solitude most often is not trying to find alone time but the guilt of feeling selfish by not sharing our time with others. In my single days, being alone was easy and admittedly at times lonely. Today though, as a husband and father, I've been conditioned by necessity to make sure I'm available when my family needs me to be available. Even this weekend I feel somewhat guilty I'm not watching my son at his hockey game and cheering him on as he attempts another shot at the goal. What kind of father doesn't show up for his son's hockey game? It doesn't matter that others will tell me it's OK to put myself first from time to time, I still feel I'm losing some points toward being a good parent.</p> <p>It's important to remind ourselves that while solitude can bring us joy it doesn't have to be out of selfish reasons. Solitude allows you to also improve yourself so you can be a better person when you are with others. Sherrie Bourg Carter in <em>Psychology Today</em> gives <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/high-octane-women/201201/6-reasons-you-should-spend-more-time-alone">reasons you should spend more time alone</a>. In her article she lists six benefits of seeking solitude:</p> <ol><li>Solitude allows you to reboot your brain and unwind.</li> <li>Solitude helps to improve concentration and increase productivity.</li> <li>Solitude gives you an opportunity to discover yourself and find your own voice.</li> <li>Solitude provides time for you to think deeply.</li> <li>Solitude helps you work through problems more effectively.</li> <li>Solitude can enhance the quality of your relationships with others.</li> </ol><p>Despite wanting more time for solitude, the reality is that having a family requires you to divide your time between work, your family, and "me time".  In most cases, work and family come before my own desires. But you know what, I wouldn't have it any other way as I understand my time with my wife and son are just as precious. But how do you find solitude on the normal days full of work, family, and being your child's personal Lyft driver to all their activities?</p> <p>Most of my mornings waking up as a child were seeing my parents already up and reading the newspaper with a cup of coffee in the other hand. They weren't seeking an hour of less sleep or necessarily enjoying the sunrise but instead enjoying the solitude before their family reminded them they weren't alone. For me, I've found that most often solitude doesn't come in periods of hours or days like this past weekend but in minutes. I've found that by getting up an hour or half-hour earlier than everyone else in the house...I can have at least a small dose of the solitude I seek to get me through the day. It seems to be working.</p> <p><em>Article originally published at <a href="http://fiftytwoposts.com/alone-time/">Fifty-Two Posts a Year</a>.</em></p> </div> <div class="sharethis-wrapper"><span st_url="https://bryanruby.com/alone-time-2011" st_title="Alone Time" class="st_facebook_large" displayText="facebook"></span> <span st_url="https://bryanruby.com/alone-time-2011" st_title="Alone Time" class="st_twitter_large" st_via="MrBryanRuby" st_username="" displayText="twitter"></span> <span st_url="https://bryanruby.com/alone-time-2011" st_title="Alone Time" class="st_googleplus_large" displayText="googleplus"></span> <span st_url="https://bryanruby.com/alone-time-2011" st_title="Alone Time" class="st_linkedin_large" displayText="linkedin"></span> <span st_url="https://bryanruby.com/alone-time-2011" st_title="Alone Time" class="st_email_large" displayText="email"></span> </div><section rel="schema:comment"> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=2011&amp;2=comment&amp;3=comment" token="EH0YcRVmhmTnGwWeC0vvtAQtuiT0uAZuUrQq6-i_TyA"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <div class="field field--name-field-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-above"> <div class="field--label">Tags</div> <div class="field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/tags/thoughts" property="schema:about" hreflang="en">Thoughts</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/tags/health" property="schema:about" hreflang="en">Health</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/tags/family" property="schema:about" hreflang="en">Family</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/tags/vacation" property="schema:about" hreflang="en">Vacation</a></div> </div> </div> Thu, 11 Jan 2018 02:30:35 +0000 Bryan Ruby 2011 at https://bryanruby.com Recovering from Blogging Burnout https://bryanruby.com/recovering-blogging-burnout-1991 <span property="schema:name">Recovering from Blogging Burnout</span> <div class="field field--name-field-image field--type-image field--label-above"> <div class="field--label">Image</div> <div class="field--items"> <div class="field--item"> <img property="schema:image" src="/sites/default/files/field/image/ExtremeHeat.jpg" width="3200" height="2368" alt="Getting burned by the fire" typeof="foaf:Image" class="img-responsive" /> </div> </div> </div> <span rel="schema:author"><span lang="" about="/users/bryan-ruby" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Bryan Ruby</span></span> <span property="schema:dateCreated" content="2016-08-27T20:10:00+00:00">Sat, 08/27/2016 - 15:10</span> <div property="schema:text" class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><p><em>I don't think I want to do this anymore...</em></p> <p>After three or four decades of being immersed in the digital lifestyle and blogging on a continual basis for 15 years, I found myself puking at the idea of spending more time in front of the computer outside of work. It's not that I don't still like technology and content management, but I didn't recognize until it was too late that the lack of topic diversity would eventually lead me to digital burnout. To fix this, I seriously tried not to throw the baby out with the bathwater. In the end that's <a href="/my-personal-goodbye-cms-report-1990">exactly what I did</a>.</p> <p>Having walked away from <a href="https://cmsreport.com">CMS Report</a> earlier this year, it's taken me months to recognize that the problem wasn't being bored with content management systems. The problem is I didn't do it in moderation.  Between my day job working in information technology and the evenings spent blogging and running personal websites, there were days I spent close to 16 hours in front of a computer screen. For someone like me that can be over enthusiastic in pursuing my interests and activities, I never considered my computer time as work. As odd as it sounds, it became a great shock to me that my body both physically and mentally still perceived it as work.</p> <p>I know there are others that have dealt with job burnout, but this wasn't just my job it was my hobby. Until recently, writing blog posts always brought me great joy and satisfaction. Steven D’souza in a recent <a href="https://hbr.org/2016/06/dont-get-surprised-by-burnout">article</a> published at <i>Harvard Business Review</i> wrote about going through something similar. In the article he discusses the dangers of not recognizing work we love as still being work.</p> <blockquote><p>Why was I so oblivious to being on the edge of burnout – or, more accurately, descending further into burnout? Perhaps because I love my work and often don’t frame it as “work.” If this is a “problem,” I reasoned, it’s one lots of people would love to have. I feel very lucky to do work I am passionate about, and I like the people I get to work with.</p> <p>And yet such positivity, I’ve learned, can backfire. Because I love and appreciate my work, my mental “immune system” had nothing to reject. It had become too much of a good thing; the axiom “a strength overplayed can be a liability,” leaps to mind.</p> </blockquote> <p>There are a number of articles focused on job burnout that suggest a number of methods to <em>fixing</em> this. For instance the <a href="http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/burnout/art-20046642?pg=2">Mayo Clinic suggests</a> to resolve job burnout you "take action" by doing such things as: </p> <ul><li>Manage the stressors that contribute to job burnout.</li> <li>Evaluate your options.</li> <li>Adjust your attitude</li> <li>Seek support</li> <li>Access your interests, skills and passions.</li> <li>Get some exercise</li> <li>Get some sleep</li> </ul><p>Frustratingly, none of this worked for me. It's not that I didn't try. Long time readers know I love the outdoors and this year I upped my game. I've done some really cool stuff this summer including hiking up to Grinnell Glacier during a 10 day family camping trip in Glacier National Park. Through the summer, I regularly rode 25 to 30 miles on my city's fantastic bicycle trails. Nothing. I'm still burned out from blogging and unable to do so with any consistency.</p> <p>So why don't these burnout solutions work for me? Most of the prescriptions to burnout actually encourage you to "run away" from the problem. On my return, I still found when I resumed to my work that I still suffered from burnout. I've reached the conclusion that I can't rediscover my love for blogging by not blogging. Running from the problem might offer temporary relief from burnout, but it's not a solution in itself. Perhaps it's all about getting down back to basics for why we originally blogged and did social media in the first place. We originally did this for ourselves and not for marketing purposes.</p> <p>Recently, I came across Bryan Collin's article, <a href="https://www.fastcompany.com/3038545/4-simple-remedies-for-burnout-backed-by-science">4 Simple Remedies For Burnout Backed By Science</a>. Three of the solutions presented I've already tried, but the remaining solution resonated with me.</p> <blockquote><p>1. BECOME MORE SELFISH</p> <p>In 1943, the American psychologist Abraham Maslow explained an individual can only be happy if they are able to express themselves and achieve their potential.</p> <p>He called this self-actualization and cautioned that "the story of the human race is the story of men and women selling themselves short."</p> <p>If you spend your working day responding to the demands of other people or if you work only on projects only because you are told to, burnout is inevitable.</p> <p>Leaders of successful companies recognize the importance of self-actualization, and this why many of these give employees time to work on their favorite projects through hack-athons and "20% time," which allows employees to take one day a week to work on side projects.</p> </blockquote> <p>I've decided to start blogging again and this time <em>I will be selfish</em>. How is this going to work out?</p> <p><strong>First</strong>, I'm not going to accept advertising revenue on my websites nor do favors for anyone. There are just too many marketing traps that remove you from the joy of blogging when it's being done quid pro quo.  <strong>Secondly</strong>, I've decided not to write articles for others but solely for my <a href="http://bryanruby.com">personal blog</a> mirrored on <a href="https://medium.com/@bryanruby">Medium</a> (I have some work to do before this happens). That's not to say, I'm not open to seeing my articles republished elsewhere by request...but it won't be my primary motivation to write a post.</p> <p>I think if I do these two things, I might just recover from this horrible digital burnout I've been facing. I'm also curious if others have found themselves in the same situation? If you've ever dealt with burnout, how did you deal with it yourself?</p> </div> <div class="sharethis-wrapper"><span st_url="https://bryanruby.com/recovering-blogging-burnout-1991" st_title="Recovering from Blogging Burnout" class="st_facebook_large" displayText="facebook"></span> <span st_url="https://bryanruby.com/recovering-blogging-burnout-1991" st_title="Recovering from Blogging Burnout" class="st_twitter_large" st_via="MrBryanRuby" st_username="" displayText="twitter"></span> <span st_url="https://bryanruby.com/recovering-blogging-burnout-1991" st_title="Recovering from Blogging Burnout" class="st_googleplus_large" displayText="googleplus"></span> <span st_url="https://bryanruby.com/recovering-blogging-burnout-1991" st_title="Recovering from Blogging Burnout" class="st_linkedin_large" displayText="linkedin"></span> <span st_url="https://bryanruby.com/recovering-blogging-burnout-1991" st_title="Recovering from Blogging Burnout" class="st_email_large" displayText="email"></span> </div><section rel="schema:comment"> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=1991&amp;2=comment&amp;3=comment" token="WoXPHrenpRRA7KZlHYJjsrhp6PpeyGWYdodfrZ_GYzc"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <div class="field field--name-field-disqus field--type-disqus-comment field--label-above"> <div class="field--label">Disqus</div> <div class="field--item"><drupal-render-placeholder callback="Drupal\disqus\Element\Disqus::displayDisqusComments" arguments="0=Recovering%20from%20Blogging%20Burnout&amp;1=https%3A//bryanruby.com/recovering-blogging-burnout-1991&amp;2=node/1991" token="YwN4hyuj9XKOn1O8LzCOW4NO9sAVC90k_d2pq49Z6MU"></drupal-render-placeholder></div> </div> <div class="field field--name-field-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-above"> <div class="field--label">Tags</div> <div class="field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/tags/thoughts" property="schema:about" hreflang="en">Thoughts</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/tags/deeds" property="schema:about" hreflang="en">Deeds</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/tags/health" property="schema:about" hreflang="en">Health</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/tags/blogging" property="schema:about" hreflang="en">Blogging</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/tags/technology" property="schema:about" hreflang="en">Technology</a></div> </div> </div> Sat, 27 Aug 2016 20:10:00 +0000 Bryan Ruby 1991 at https://bryanruby.com Recovery Time https://bryanruby.com/recovery-time-1411 <span property="schema:name">Recovery Time</span> <span rel="schema:author"><span lang="" about="/users/bryan-ruby" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Bryan Ruby</span></span> <span property="schema:dateCreated" content="2007-01-27T15:54:48+00:00">Sat, 01/27/2007 - 09:54</span> <div property="schema:text" class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><p>I know, I've been a little too quiet on this blog.  I've been busy with my latest project, <a href="http://cmsreport.com/">CMS Report</a>.  It's a site I designed to talk about content management systems and other information systems.  The site has really taken off with about 25 visitors reading my pages at one time.  Sometimes as many as 150 people are visiting at one time.  A lot of geeks out there!  Isn't that great.</p> <p>Also for those that know and don't know, I'm spending my time this month recovering from surgery. As most of you know, a year ago I started dealing with a problem where the primary nerve for my left arm was being squeezed in my neck near C6/C7 causing pain and weakness in my left arm. The procedure I had was a <a href="http://www.spine-health.com/topics/surg/overview/cervical/cerv05.html">microdiscetomy</a> and <a href="http://www.necksurgery.com/treatment-surgical-foraminotomy.html">foraminotomy</a> which basically means the neurosurgeon enlarged the window where the nerves for the arm leaves the spine. As intense as it sounds, I'm recovering rather well and needing a lot less pain medication than the doctors expected me to need. With the pain I was dealing with my arm...a cut in the back of my neck is a walk in the park.</p> <p>Recovery time can range from two weeks to six week. My goal is to be back at work in two weeks though I will be starting my first week with half days. Meanwhile, my "recovery" has been spent so far by watching football, KU Basketball, and watching the wife in the freezing cold snow blowing the drive. The only real exercise the doctor wants me to do is walking...so I've been walking in the gym as Logan and Karen spend time in the swimming pool. </p> <p>I've also been doing some computer stuff, but at the moment I can only stay put in front of the computer in one hour increments.  Hard to believe my career in information technology takes so much back muscle...</p> </div> <div class="sharethis-wrapper"><span st_url="https://bryanruby.com/recovery-time-1411" st_title="Recovery Time" class="st_facebook_large" displayText="facebook"></span> <span st_url="https://bryanruby.com/recovery-time-1411" st_title="Recovery Time" class="st_twitter_large" st_via="MrBryanRuby" st_username="" displayText="twitter"></span> <span st_url="https://bryanruby.com/recovery-time-1411" st_title="Recovery Time" class="st_googleplus_large" displayText="googleplus"></span> <span st_url="https://bryanruby.com/recovery-time-1411" st_title="Recovery Time" class="st_linkedin_large" displayText="linkedin"></span> <span st_url="https://bryanruby.com/recovery-time-1411" st_title="Recovery Time" class="st_email_large" displayText="email"></span> </div><section rel="schema:comment"> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=1411&amp;2=comment&amp;3=comment" token="-XcOHEccQNMfzPGXLhO34UTafHiCR7D0Gf21B4E14V4"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <div class="field field--name-field-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-above"> <div class="field--label">Tags</div> <div class="field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/tags/deeds" property="schema:about" hreflang="en">Deeds</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/tags/goals" property="schema:about" hreflang="en">Goals</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/tags/health" property="schema:about" hreflang="en">Health</a></div> </div> </div> Sat, 27 Jan 2007 15:54:48 +0000 Bryan Ruby 1411 at https://bryanruby.com